Maybe There's a Loving God

"Each heart knows its own bitterness,

and no one else can share its joy."

-Proverbs 14:10

I cried and cried when I heard the song "Maybe There's A Loving God" by Sara Groves this afternoon. I think everyone who has ever been born knows the feeling of knowing that something is not right with the world. We are born and we are crying; that is very telling. There is a concept that I have heard that says that we are born with a God-shaped hole in our hearts. Nothing but God can ever fill that hole. I have felt the effects of being born cut off from what is true life and living in a world that is broken. We are not only born crying, but even the moments of profound joy in our lives are marked by tears. That really speaks to the nature of the story we find ourselves in. God grants us moments when we realize that everything that happens in life is not all absurdity; there is still good that is happening. This song brought me back to the endless answers I have sought and to some of the darker periods of my life. In all of these events that I did not understand, God was there calling me to Himself softly and slowly drawing me. There have been many moments when people have given up or have wanted to give up on me and just did not see how things would work out for me. I don't understand most of "why" things have happened in my life and most people never do. We probably never will. There are still broken areas in my life deep in my heart and in my relationships with other people that I do not see how things will work out or why things would go the way that they do. It breaks my heart to know these things and how it is unlikely that I will experience full restoration in these areas on this earth. I feel the depth of these things and even though my heart is broken, I am glad that God has chosen to manifest Himself in this way in this world. He is everywhere and gives us glimpses into His heart not only in the Word, but in EVERYTHING that exists. Praise God for the morning chill that wakes us up and the heavens above us.

Sometimes we need a simple reminder from God that we are not alone in this universe. People can be a great comfort, but what we can truly know of each other is limited. God is unlimited to what He knows and has felt the depths of pain that we know to a degree that none of His children will ever feel or even be able to fathom.



I'm trying to work things out
I'm trying to comprehend
Am I the chance result
Of some great accident
I hear a rhythm call me
The echo of a grand design
I spend each night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars in the sky

I have another meeting today
With my new counselor
My mom will cry and say
I don't know what to do with her
She's so unresponsive
I just cannot break through
She spends all night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars and the moon

They have a chart and a graph
Of my despondency
They want to chart a path
For self-recovery
And want to know what I'm thinking
What motivates my mood
To spend all night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars and the moon

Maybe this was made for me
For lying on my back in the middle of a field
Maybe that's a selfish thought
Or maybe there's a loving God

Maybe I was made this way
To think and to reason and to question and to pray
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there's a loving God

Maybe this was made for me
For lying on my back in the middle of a field
Maybe that's a selfish thought
Or maybe there's a loving God

Maybe I was made this way
To think and to reason and to question and to pray
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there's a loving God

And that may be a foolish thought
Or maybe there is a God
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there's a loving God