Recent Thoughts on Life and God

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

"He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."
2 Peter 2:9-10 & John 1:10-12


I have not written anything really personal in quite some time so I felt like it would be a good idea to share what all has been going on in the past few weeks. I graduated from college in December but have just recently had the revelation that I am no longer in school. The first couple of weeks following graduation had me mentally lulled into subconsciously believing that I was on Christmas break, as I was still under the dread of having to go back to school in a few weeks. Perhaps the feeling of dread that accompanied Christmas break was actually a sign that I am burnt out on formalized education, as the idea of being out of school has finally sunk in but the "ugh!" feelings regarding school still remain.

I have been somewhat broken these past few weeks and am glad for the work that God is doing in my heart. I am finally at a place where I am beginning to understand what it means for me to call God my Father and what it means that I can call Him that.

People often have a picture in their minds that they were once drowning in the ocean and that God threw out a lifesaver to them and all that they had to do was close their fingers on the lifesaver and God would save them. This is an idea that I once held and thought was correct.

The Bible, however, tells us of a different story. I was not a person drowning in the ocean: I was drowned and dead at the bottom of the ocean when God dove in, threw me on the boat, and brought me back to life. I had no ability to bring myself to life. I had no hope, none at all.

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast"
-Ephesians 2:4-9

When I was unable to help myself, God saved me and did the work from beginning to end. I was once a person who deserved wrath, death, and eternal damnation but because of the great work of God, I am now a child of God. I came from being a person who had no rights to God to becoming a person who can call the God who made the universe his very own Daddy. This revelation has both humbled and broken me in some many ways but has truly given me life and joy in ways I cannot explain in words.

I praise God for all that I experienced in the years that preceded where I am now because all of those things that happened were preparing the way for God to open up the space in my heart to recieve Him more fully. Many of you went through those very rough and intense years with me and I am grateful for your presence and prayers during those times. There have been several of you who have been used in mighty ways to show me what an "Abba" relationship with God is like and how it is lived out. My mom, dad, sister and another close friend I had during this time have largely been the people God used to keep me together and keep me going. I am grateful for them and for all of the people God has used to help to bring me to where I am today.

My hope and prayer is that God will give His children a fuller revelation of what it means for us to be able to be called His children, and that this revelation changes who we are and how we live down to the deepest parts of our hearts and minds.

I cannot wait to know my Father more and more and am excited for the Day when I will see Him as He is.